can i stop it?
by starkidhallows2
Summary: "I didn't hear the main door open, i didn't hear it close, i didn't hear the footsteps up the stairs, nor the voice calling my name. the only thing i remember before my world blacked out was; "BLAINE!"" MAY TRIGGER. contains self harm. Anderbros, klaine
1. prologue

I had given up.

I had absolutely no reason to live anymore.

My parents had stopped loving me and I don't blame them. I mean they didn't really choose to have me, and even if they had, how would they have known I would turn out to be such a failure?

My parents had Cooper 7 years before they had me, and he was perfect in every. Single. Way. They had the perfect child already, why have another one?

One night, on their anniversary, cooper was seven and a friend invited him to have a sleepover, my parents took the opportunity, got drunk and well, one thing led to another…

And here I am 16 years and 9 months later; forgotten at home, bullied at school; even my own mind is not a safe place anymore!

I look at the razor in my hand, thinking of the first time I cut, how stupid I thought it was before I had gotten to that point.

How is this supposed to make me feel better?" I thought out loud."

And then I got it.

The sharp pain I felt on my wrist.

The thrill of what had just happened.

The thin line of blood that got redder and redder, every second.

For a second, everything was ok.

I was focusing on the pain on my wrist instead of the constant pang of loneliness I felt in my heart.

I had thought that with my new way of coping, everything would be better.

But I was wrong.

I am a worthless waste of space they said.

I shouldn't be allowed to be alive they said.

I was just going to give them what they wanted.

I was so focused on my goal,

My mind was full of memories and regrets.

My eyes were full of tears and dread.

I didn't hear the main door open or close,

I didn't hear the footsteps up the stairs nor the voice calling my name.

The only thing I remember before my world blacked out was;

"BLAINE!"

* * *

**(A/N)**

**so this my first story...**

**English is not my first language, so correct away :)**

**umm i will continue if you'd like a continuation of the story, what happens next is already in my head so yeah, i just want to know if its worth it.**


	2. everyone deserves to be loved

I wake up in a dark hospital room.

Cooper is sitting next to the bed, sleeping, leaning against the back of the chair, mouth open and drool coming out of it. He seems so worried even in his sleep. It hurts me to think that it is my fault, but his life would be so much better without me. Why couldn't I have succeeded one time? If I am such a failure in life, why couldn't I just die?

"Blaine?" Cooper asked concerned, his voice sounded raw, like he hasn't used it in a while. God, how long was I out?

"Coop, I'm s-s-sorry; I-I'm so s-s-o sorry" I barely could speak, my sobs were unstoppable and I couldn't look at Cooper in the eye.

"B, look at me, come on please. I need you to look at me"

I couldn't. I just wanted to disappear, I wanted Cooper to hate me. I just wanted to be dead.

"Cooper, I'm sorry, I- I'm such a-a-a dis-disappointment, why don't you hate me?"

"Blaine, listen to me, you are my baby brother of course I love you, I practically raised you and I couldn't be prouder of the man you've become, but If you felt so bad why didn't you tell me! You should have told me you were unhappy!"

"But you left, Coop, you left so you could start living your life…as you should. I wanted you to start living for yourself and not for me. You gave up your social life in high school so I could have someone taking care of me; you gave up Yale to stay in Ohio. You should start living your life and forget about me. I'm sorry I failed you again." At the end of my little speech I was feeling so tired. I just wanted to sleep and never wake up.

"Wait. You're apologizing because you didn't die!" he asked, I gave him a small nod, and before he started talking I started explaining.

"I couldn't stay with dad, I just couldn't anymore. He's terrible, Coop, when there is no one home, he- he's a monster and –and he wouldn't stop and…" the ability of forming coherent words had disappeared. Cooper stood up and knelt next to the bed so he could be closer to me.

"You should have told me he was hurting you, Blaine, if I would have known I would have come home earlier. I'm so sorry I left for so long; I didn't know he was so bad, but I didn't leave you, I promise, I was saving up for an apartment for the both of us. I have been working so you could live with me and I could be your guardian."

"Why would you want a sixteen year old fag leaving with you?" I couldn't believe that he actually wanted to be with me now that he had gotten rid of me. It had to be a joke.

"Don't say that word about yourself! And why wouldn't I want you with me. You are part of my life! I need you safe Blaine, I need you alive! So when you get out of this hospital you will be coming home with me, I will do whatever I can to help you get back to the bubbly energetic Blaine I remember and you will find a perfect boy and you will be happy and then I will be happy. But for now, we sleep."

"You have no idea how much I love you, Coop. I don't deserve a brother like you."

"Nonsense, you deserve me as much as I deserve you, B, I love you too. Now sleep tomorrow's going to be a long day."


End file.
